Blog 4: Let there be peace.

     Today was by far the least chaotic day I have seen at Cafe on the Vine. There were less people there to eat, I would assume because it was after the first of the month and everyone got their checks. They all seemed much more prepared today than any other day, and it seemed almost peaceful. I worked in the kitchen today, serving and preparing food. I had the opportunity to talk more with the owner and some of the volunteers about their experiences there, and why they were volunteering. Many of them told me it was still difficult to communicate with the people, even though some of them have been volunteering for several years now. I appreciated this opportunity to talk with people with whom I could more easily relate (even though there was a fairly huge age gap between me and most of them), and hearing their thoughts on communication with this particular population.
     First, I talked with them about perception. They told me that many of them were looking at the world in a very different way. They have gotten to know about several of the regular people over time, and learn their life stories. They told me that many of the guests had grown up in homes that were surviving on welfare, and some of them not in homes at all. They talked about how these people lived in poverty their whole lives, and couldn't imagine a life outside of their own. They have been treated differently their entire lives, which affect the way they look at and communicate with others. They may be presenting themselves very differently to us because they have an idea about how people not living in poverty feel about them.
     This then led to discussion about listening, particularly defensive listening. They are so used to being attacked by others, they become very defensive with communicating with others outside their own socioeconomic status. They feel the need to protect themselves from being put down. This is also an example  of how emotions and stereotypes come into play. They have been stereotyped their entire lives, and are starting to experience a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy, as well as reflected appraisal. This changes the way they speak and listen to one another.
     I feel that today was one of the greatest days for learning I've had so far. I really loved to talk with the people that know the guests well, and have been communicating with them over long periods of time. I learned that I must always consider a person's perspective in communication, especially across various demographics. I can now see how a person's past will change how they look at people, and in turn communicate with them. I can also see how my actions can impact the way a person communicates with others in the future, and how my experiences can impact my communication with others as well. I saw examples of how the self-fulfilling prophecy and reflected appraisal work, which will certainly be helpful to my future career. This has also impacted the way I view others, in terms of looking at their lives as a whole to help me understand how to communicate with them.

Mikka Rose
11/5/12