When I began this journey, I had a very definite idea of what I would see. I thought I would see middle-aged, homeless people living in absolute poverty. In reality, I saw people of all ages, from very young to elderly. I saw people who were living in absolute poverty eating right next to people who just didn't have enough at the end of the month. I expected to see people full of hope and in transition, but in reality, I saw mostly people who had lost hope. I saw mostly people who had lived their entire lives in poverty. I saw more than I ever thought I would. In fact, I saw more diversity than I knew could exist in a soup kitchen.
In my experience at Cafe on the Vine, I saw many different themes from class. I saw how language differs across different groups of people, and how this can effect communication between and within groups. Not only was this verbal language, but also body language. Though body language, I was able to see emotions. I could see then how emotions got in the way or contributed to conversations. This is a part of internal noise. I could tell that some words spoken triggered certain emotions, and in turn caused different levels of self-monitoring and disclosure. Sometimes, this meant people would get defensive and not listen properly. Others would listen more closely based upon what they were being told. These people seemed to be terrified of stereotypes, and would change their behaviors and means of communication to avoid making or following them. This is also effected by perception, meaning how they were raised impacted the way they viewed themselves and others. This leads to self-fulfilling prophecy and reflected appraisal. All of these factors greatly contributed to the way in which these people communicated with others, as well as how I communicated with them.
In my future, I believe I will be much more aware of the diversity that exists in people and be much more conscious about how I communicate with people who have different experiences than me. I learned to take into consideration what people are going through and have gone through in their lives so far, and be aware of the barriers that causes in communication. I have also learned how language and body language are different based upon a persons experiences, and how being aware of that can help prevent misunderstandings. Finally, I learned that we let our emotions and fears get in the way of communication. Avoiding stereotypes falls under this category. I learned that by controlling our emotions we can shape how we communicate with others, and by understanding other people's emotions we can learn how to interpret the message they are trying to send us, and avoid bad communication. These facts will definitely help me in my future career as a social worker. I will take from this a new ability to communicate and understand others from different backgrounds, and this will allow me to understand and work with more diverse clients. I will carry this new ability with me in my future career, as well as in my current and future interpersonal relationships.
Mikka Rose
11/21/12
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Blog 4: Let there be peace.
Today was by far the least chaotic day I have seen at Cafe on the Vine. There were less people there to eat, I would assume because it was after the first of the month and everyone got their checks. They all seemed much more prepared today than any other day, and it seemed almost peaceful. I worked in the kitchen today, serving and preparing food. I had the opportunity to talk more with the owner and some of the volunteers about their experiences there, and why they were volunteering. Many of them told me it was still difficult to communicate with the people, even though some of them have been volunteering for several years now. I appreciated this opportunity to talk with people with whom I could more easily relate (even though there was a fairly huge age gap between me and most of them), and hearing their thoughts on communication with this particular population.
First, I talked with them about perception. They told me that many of them were looking at the world in a very different way. They have gotten to know about several of the regular people over time, and learn their life stories. They told me that many of the guests had grown up in homes that were surviving on welfare, and some of them not in homes at all. They talked about how these people lived in poverty their whole lives, and couldn't imagine a life outside of their own. They have been treated differently their entire lives, which affect the way they look at and communicate with others. They may be presenting themselves very differently to us because they have an idea about how people not living in poverty feel about them.
This then led to discussion about listening, particularly defensive listening. They are so used to being attacked by others, they become very defensive with communicating with others outside their own socioeconomic status. They feel the need to protect themselves from being put down. This is also an example of how emotions and stereotypes come into play. They have been stereotyped their entire lives, and are starting to experience a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy, as well as reflected appraisal. This changes the way they speak and listen to one another.
I feel that today was one of the greatest days for learning I've had so far. I really loved to talk with the people that know the guests well, and have been communicating with them over long periods of time. I learned that I must always consider a person's perspective in communication, especially across various demographics. I can now see how a person's past will change how they look at people, and in turn communicate with them. I can also see how my actions can impact the way a person communicates with others in the future, and how my experiences can impact my communication with others as well. I saw examples of how the self-fulfilling prophecy and reflected appraisal work, which will certainly be helpful to my future career. This has also impacted the way I view others, in terms of looking at their lives as a whole to help me understand how to communicate with them.
Mikka Rose
11/5/12
First, I talked with them about perception. They told me that many of them were looking at the world in a very different way. They have gotten to know about several of the regular people over time, and learn their life stories. They told me that many of the guests had grown up in homes that were surviving on welfare, and some of them not in homes at all. They talked about how these people lived in poverty their whole lives, and couldn't imagine a life outside of their own. They have been treated differently their entire lives, which affect the way they look at and communicate with others. They may be presenting themselves very differently to us because they have an idea about how people not living in poverty feel about them.
This then led to discussion about listening, particularly defensive listening. They are so used to being attacked by others, they become very defensive with communicating with others outside their own socioeconomic status. They feel the need to protect themselves from being put down. This is also an example of how emotions and stereotypes come into play. They have been stereotyped their entire lives, and are starting to experience a bit of self-fulfilling prophecy, as well as reflected appraisal. This changes the way they speak and listen to one another.
I feel that today was one of the greatest days for learning I've had so far. I really loved to talk with the people that know the guests well, and have been communicating with them over long periods of time. I learned that I must always consider a person's perspective in communication, especially across various demographics. I can now see how a person's past will change how they look at people, and in turn communicate with them. I can also see how my actions can impact the way a person communicates with others in the future, and how my experiences can impact my communication with others as well. I saw examples of how the self-fulfilling prophecy and reflected appraisal work, which will certainly be helpful to my future career. This has also impacted the way I view others, in terms of looking at their lives as a whole to help me understand how to communicate with them.
Mikka Rose
11/5/12
Blog 3: Let there be music.
Today I arrived into an equally chaotic setting as the first time. I was informed that today I would be working in the dining area, cleaning and resetting tables. I was excited to hold longer conversations with the people, and also get to witness some of their body language. I was surprised to see several people carry in their possessions. One person even carried in a guitar. I watched as this man shared his guitar with a stranger who could also play, and together they sang and harmonized. Then, the guitar was passed back to its owner, and the man played a song of his own that he wrote about his life story. Many more people came and went, and shared about their successes and failures, getting jobs or losing jobs, finding a place to live or losing their home, and friends and family.
I couldn't help but notice the difference in language we had today. People were using different expressions and words I had never heard of. They all seemed to understand each other, but I was definitely in the out-group. I tried to share conversation with them, but I also began to use words and phrases with which they were unfamiliar. I believe part of this had to do with perception. We had come from different backgrounds and different lifestyles, and therefore communicated in different ways and about different things. I started to catch on to their language by the end of the day, and adapt to their differing usage of words.
I saw a lot of emotion today, particularly by those playing music. There were a few tears shed, and laughter that was shared. These emotions were mostly visible through body language, more than speech. You could tell when something sparked an emotion in the music based upon their reaction: sitting up, slouching, covering their mouth or eyes, or smiling. These emotions helped us relate to one another, and helped us participate in more active communication. I also witnessed varying degrees of listening styles and abilities. Some people were not receiving messages that were being communicated to them, but most people were very receptive, particularly when emotions became more heavily involved.
Today I learned that people all communicate in very different ways, and it involves a great deal of active listening to comprehend what people are saying. I had to improve my attention span and shut off the noise in my mind to sort out their use of language, as did they for me. I had to look at things through their eyes and communication style to more effectively communicate. I also learned how relating to other people's emotions, and high levels of disclosure (in some situations) are very helpful in developing good communication. When a person was shut off to emotion, they were also shut off to communication. This showed me how important it is to not overly self-monitor, and to share, as well as empathize with other's, emotions. I learned to use body language to help me decipher what they were communicating, particularly because of the language barrier. These are all useful skills to a social worker as well, and also for use in my everyday life.
Mikka Rose
10/31/12
I couldn't help but notice the difference in language we had today. People were using different expressions and words I had never heard of. They all seemed to understand each other, but I was definitely in the out-group. I tried to share conversation with them, but I also began to use words and phrases with which they were unfamiliar. I believe part of this had to do with perception. We had come from different backgrounds and different lifestyles, and therefore communicated in different ways and about different things. I started to catch on to their language by the end of the day, and adapt to their differing usage of words.
I saw a lot of emotion today, particularly by those playing music. There were a few tears shed, and laughter that was shared. These emotions were mostly visible through body language, more than speech. You could tell when something sparked an emotion in the music based upon their reaction: sitting up, slouching, covering their mouth or eyes, or smiling. These emotions helped us relate to one another, and helped us participate in more active communication. I also witnessed varying degrees of listening styles and abilities. Some people were not receiving messages that were being communicated to them, but most people were very receptive, particularly when emotions became more heavily involved.
Today I learned that people all communicate in very different ways, and it involves a great deal of active listening to comprehend what people are saying. I had to improve my attention span and shut off the noise in my mind to sort out their use of language, as did they for me. I had to look at things through their eyes and communication style to more effectively communicate. I also learned how relating to other people's emotions, and high levels of disclosure (in some situations) are very helpful in developing good communication. When a person was shut off to emotion, they were also shut off to communication. This showed me how important it is to not overly self-monitor, and to share, as well as empathize with other's, emotions. I learned to use body language to help me decipher what they were communicating, particularly because of the language barrier. These are all useful skills to a social worker as well, and also for use in my everyday life.
Mikka Rose
10/31/12
Blog 2: Let there be food.
Today was the first day I volunteered at Cafe on the Vine. I walked into the building, and immediately entered mass chaos. People were running everywhere to get things done. The dining room opened in thirty minutes. I was told to wash my hands and jump in. I had to do a few small jobs before we got ready to let the people in. I was told that today I would be serving. After being explained the portion sizes and where to find plates, they opened the door. People of all kinds walked in and got in line, received their food, and carried on to the dining room to eat what may have been their only meal of the day. I got to chat with the people as they went through the line, and also communicate with the people working with me in the kitchen. Several hours later, I had to leave the chaos for class.
One of the major barriers to communication was noise. Not only was the environment chaotic and difficult to send and receive messages in, but many of the people I came in contact with clearly had other things on their mind. The internal noise distracted them from answering my questions clearly. I also struggled with internal noise. I was so shocked to see people of all ages, from the young children to the elderly, going through something so difficult that I was forgetting portion sizes and the questions I was to ask. Their answers got buried in my mind, and I was horribly distracted by the poverty before me.
I also saw the great use of self-monitoring. I didn't want to appear as though I was privileged, and I definitely didn't want to appear ignorant. I watched my words horribly in fear of triggering a bad feeling in anyone. I noticed them watching their words as well. They seemed to either be very quiet, I believe in fear of appearing lazy or uneducated, or very outgoing, some maybe even over-sharing to prove themselves. I believe that stereotypes were the leading cause of excessive self-monitoring. We had fears of proving a stereotype, or of using them accidentally to judge one another. This was definitely a barrier to communication.
Today I learned that I may not always know how to communicate across diversity, particularly in various socioeconomic statuses. I learned that I must be aware of stereotypes to avoid using them. I may self-monitor in excess, but I can't avoid self monitoring either, because it served a purpose to keep everyone comfortable. I also learned that I need to be mindful of the internal noise which prevents communication in situations of diversity. Being aware of this noise can help me avoid focusing on it, and focus more on communication. I can also understand others more, knowing that they are also being distracted by internal noise. I believe these are all skills which will be useful to a future social worker.
Mikka Rose
10/29/12
One of the major barriers to communication was noise. Not only was the environment chaotic and difficult to send and receive messages in, but many of the people I came in contact with clearly had other things on their mind. The internal noise distracted them from answering my questions clearly. I also struggled with internal noise. I was so shocked to see people of all ages, from the young children to the elderly, going through something so difficult that I was forgetting portion sizes and the questions I was to ask. Their answers got buried in my mind, and I was horribly distracted by the poverty before me.
I also saw the great use of self-monitoring. I didn't want to appear as though I was privileged, and I definitely didn't want to appear ignorant. I watched my words horribly in fear of triggering a bad feeling in anyone. I noticed them watching their words as well. They seemed to either be very quiet, I believe in fear of appearing lazy or uneducated, or very outgoing, some maybe even over-sharing to prove themselves. I believe that stereotypes were the leading cause of excessive self-monitoring. We had fears of proving a stereotype, or of using them accidentally to judge one another. This was definitely a barrier to communication.
Today I learned that I may not always know how to communicate across diversity, particularly in various socioeconomic statuses. I learned that I must be aware of stereotypes to avoid using them. I may self-monitor in excess, but I can't avoid self monitoring either, because it served a purpose to keep everyone comfortable. I also learned that I need to be mindful of the internal noise which prevents communication in situations of diversity. Being aware of this noise can help me avoid focusing on it, and focus more on communication. I can also understand others more, knowing that they are also being distracted by internal noise. I believe these are all skills which will be useful to a future social worker.
Mikka Rose
10/29/12
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Blog 1: In the Beginning...
For my Interpersonal Communications service-learning project, I will be volunteering at Cafe on the Vine, a soup kitchen in Davenport, Iowa. As a Sociology major, I believe this experience will contribute to my future career in communicating with others across different socioeconomic backgrounds and status. I also hope to contribute to this community which I am newly a part of, as well as impact the lives of those I will be communicating with. I will do this not only with the physical volunteering, but with the volunteering of my heart and mind to these people, hopefully connecting with them on an emotional basis. I intend upon not only helping people I meet through this project, but also using the skills I learn during this project to help the people I communicate with in the future, and improving my relationships with them.
I'm assuming Cafe on the Vine is an oasis of sorts to the people who go there, a releif from their daily struggles of living in poverty. I believe I will see people go through changes when they arrive, and hopefully take those changes with them, at least for a while. My expectation is to see people come to this place with not only a physical hunger, but also an emotional hunger, a desire for communication and understanding, which will also be fed by the volunteers, including me; I hope to see no one leave "hungry." These are not only my expectations, but my assumptions about Cafe on the Vine. I would assume this to be a part of the program of any soup kitchen. I believe there will always be physical and emotional nourishment.
The people served by Cafe on the Vine are most likely in a situation in which they are feeling hopeless, but accepting help. This is why I believe people going there are seeking more than physical nourishment. Even a short, light-hearted conversation could make all the difference, making them feel less alienated and alone. These people most likely have a very low level of communication skills, as they most likely have very little or no education. I would assume there is a reason they find themselves in the position they are in, and I will meet people from many diverse backgrounds and different paths of life. This is what I am most excited about.
I love to meet and talk with all kinds of people; I am very interested in their lives and experiences. This goes back to my major, Sociology. I am excited to learn about these people and the roll they play in society. I want to learn about their lives and understand them on a deeper level; hopefully, some day I can share that understanding with others, and continue to use it to communicate with people of different backgrounds and socioeconomic status. I seek to help and unite people, and this is a great opportunity to learn now. To me, this is a great step in the direction of my dreams.
I'm assuming Cafe on the Vine is an oasis of sorts to the people who go there, a releif from their daily struggles of living in poverty. I believe I will see people go through changes when they arrive, and hopefully take those changes with them, at least for a while. My expectation is to see people come to this place with not only a physical hunger, but also an emotional hunger, a desire for communication and understanding, which will also be fed by the volunteers, including me; I hope to see no one leave "hungry." These are not only my expectations, but my assumptions about Cafe on the Vine. I would assume this to be a part of the program of any soup kitchen. I believe there will always be physical and emotional nourishment.
The people served by Cafe on the Vine are most likely in a situation in which they are feeling hopeless, but accepting help. This is why I believe people going there are seeking more than physical nourishment. Even a short, light-hearted conversation could make all the difference, making them feel less alienated and alone. These people most likely have a very low level of communication skills, as they most likely have very little or no education. I would assume there is a reason they find themselves in the position they are in, and I will meet people from many diverse backgrounds and different paths of life. This is what I am most excited about.
I love to meet and talk with all kinds of people; I am very interested in their lives and experiences. This goes back to my major, Sociology. I am excited to learn about these people and the roll they play in society. I want to learn about their lives and understand them on a deeper level; hopefully, some day I can share that understanding with others, and continue to use it to communicate with people of different backgrounds and socioeconomic status. I seek to help and unite people, and this is a great opportunity to learn now. To me, this is a great step in the direction of my dreams.
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